This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
