Say something about gay babies.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
