so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just cut my nipple shaving
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
