my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
