I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
