Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
