Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I have fence marks all over my body
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
