sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Alive.
So much puke
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
