You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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