Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
