you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
