why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
