Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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