This girl is more easily done than said...
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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