sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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