my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
