Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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