you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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