he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
