So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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