I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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