her vagine was all disorganized.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
