I want to make a zoo with you.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
