You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
