I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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