I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
