did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I intend to get homeless drunk
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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