why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
