we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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