So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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