That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
