I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Randomize
