dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
They took my balls.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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