Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
