...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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