Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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