need another drink. this is the easiest way
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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