You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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