you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
