He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
