So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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