Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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