Umm I'm too high to move.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
