the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
