His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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