Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
