I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
