last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
