you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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