Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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