just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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